KImbo Slice Cut Down to Size!

As most REAL MMA fans already knew, Kimbo Slice is a grade-A Fraud. He was a Youtube sensation that EliteXC made into a Phenomenon in order to compete with UFC and Affliction. Kimbo was never really an "Mixed Martial Artist" in the traditional sense of the word. Kimbo was a football player for the "U" in Miami and later worked as a Bodyguard for an Internet Porn company called Reality Kings (the fine folks that brought you MILF Hunter). He has not really beaten anyone of consequence except for an extremely over-the-hill Tank Abbot. Tank Abbot is like the Godfather of MMA and after an extremely unsuccessful stint in the now-defunct WCW, He has been a somewhat of a joke. Here is a funny video demonstrating why Tank Abbot is a joke:


A bit Preposterous, No?
Anywho, On Saturday, Kimbo was scheduled to fight Ken Shamrock, who is like the Babe Ruth of MMA. Unfortunately, Kenny is 44 and has lost 7 of his last 8 matches including three embarrassing losses to Tito Ortiz. EliteXC was basically banking on Kimbo to Annihilate Shamrock and give him even more credibility because even with all his recent failures, Shamrock is still arguably the most recognizable name is MMA.
Plus this classic Youtube moment added to that fame:


That is why they call him the Huntington Beach Bad boy!
Anywho, the fall out from all this is that EliteXC is more or less Defunct because their biggest investment turned out to be a Chump that looks like Rick Ross but can't Rap or fight for that matter either. Just look at the side by side comparison, its like they were separated at birth:





Long story short, Shamrock was not cleared to fight due to a cut above his eye. He was replaced by Seth Petruzelli, who is 10-4 in his career and had not fought in over a year. In fact, he was technically retired from MMA and trying to a start his own business. Seth's only real claims to fame was beating an AARP member Dan Severn by decision and losing to Matt Hammil who also happens to be deaf. Seth's Sexual orientation is also in question because of some of the "Provocative" Photos on his myspace profile. Like the Following Photo: (believe it or not, some of the other photos are inappropriate even for the Tranceponder.)






I guess the brain trust at EliteXC did not plan on a twinky like Petruzelli knocking out Kimbo in 14 seconds. the Homophobic executives at CBS are PISSED and that is for certain. Here is the fight in its entirety just in case you missed it:


Seth is the one with PINK hair just in case you are unaware.