The No Balls Association Draft

Any Basketball fans out there? Nope, well too bad I’m going to make some quirky comments about the NBA draft that occurred on Thursday, anyway.

The number one pick was Memphis Point Guard Derrick Rose. He is going to his hometown of Chicago. The Chicago Bulls unexpectedly won the NBA Draft Lottery, even though they only had a 3% chance of winning it. This thing is totally not rigged! NO HWAY!

Michael Beasley is taken at #2 by the Miami Heat. No surprise there. He averaged 26 points and 12 boards for Kansas State University. He put K-State on the Map, but ironically enough, their instate rival Kansas wound up winning the National Championship. Go figure?

Moving forward to the #5 pick, Memphis chooses undersized UCLA Center Kevin Love. Setting up the devastating 1-2 punch of Rudy Gay and Kevin Love. Get it? Gay-Love. Ha-ha, I kill me.

But, it was not to be because the Grizz traded Love to Minnesota for O.J. Mayo. No relation to O.J. Simpson or the Condiment, his name is not even Orenthal James. This O.J. stands for Ovinton J'Anthony. You can’t make this shit up, folks.

The hometown Knicks selects Italian Forward, Danillo Gallinari. I will dub him D-Gall from here on out because he played for Armani and he sounds a tad girly to me. He played for Armani Jeans Milan, in case you’re scoring at home. Yes, Armani Jeans has a basketball team. I know it’s hard to believe but Pro Sports is even more commercialized in Europe then in America. Every pro sports team’s jersey looks like a NASCAR jumpsuit without those pesky sleeves and fire-retardant pants. As expected, the MSG crowd gave D-Gall a warm New York City welcome. As illustrated in the following video:

Don't screw this up, cuz the Italian Mafia ain't what it used to be, so don't expect any protection on the house. You may want outsource some of that work to the russians or Albanians. Either that or don't SUCK! I'll be keeping my eye on the Shituation.