Some of you may have heard that over the weekend there was a good old-fashioned Jewelery Heist that occurred in Attleboro, Mass. Now, normally I could care less about such a story, but there is an interesting twist here. Some of the Items stolen included Super Bowl rings that were intended for the NY Giants Staff.
The thieves disabled the alarm system at E.A. Dion Inc., cut a hole in the roof and made off with a safe that weighed at least 1,000 pounds. They allegedly made of with over $2 Million Doll-Hairs in valuables. These rings are valued at roughly $25,000 a piece and are pretty sweet item, if you ask me. I would definitely be sporting one of those if I could get my hands on one.


I am not much of a conspiracy theorist but it seems to me that since these rings were being kept in the heart of Patriots country (Attleboro, Mass.) and that the thieves had to have very sophisticated equipment to pull off such a heist. I surmise that the only logical culprit is Bill Belicheck and his gang Cheaters, The New England Patriots. Lets take a look at the evidence; The Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl. They Definitely have some ill will toward the NY Football Giants because no one gave the Giants a chance and they shocked the world by beating the Undefeated Patriots on the biggest stage in the world. The Patriots and Bill Belicheck may not have shown it at the press conferences but they were PISSED!




Plus, Lets not forget that this is the man who stole Defensive and Offensive signals from opposing teams on several occasions and then explained his actions by saying that he Misinterpreted the rules. POPPYCOCK! He did not Misinterpret shit, he knew full well what he was doing and he went to great lengths to cover it up. The NFL gave him a slap on the wrist, so that the integrity of the game is not put into question. Lets look at some of Darth Belicheck's other career highlights:



  • Belichick was supposed to become the Head Coach of the New York Jets in 1999, but prior to his introductory press conference, he scrawled a resignation note on a sheet of loose leaf paper that read, in its entirety, "I resign as HC of the NYJ." Classy move, you Douchfag.

  • In the Madden NFL video game series his name is not used and is known as "NE Coach" because he is not a member of the NFLHCA (NFL Head Coaches Association), which licenses the game. Belichick is the only NFL head coach who has chosen not to join the association. Really?

  • Belichick is well known as a fan of the rock band Bon Jovi, who visited Patriots training camp on August 14, 2006. Their 2002 song "Bounce" is dedicated to Belichick. EEEW...Bon Jovi.

  • Former Patriots LB Ted Johnson made news when he told the New York Times that he suffers from amphetamine addiction, depression and headaches related to post-concussion syndrome and Second Impact Syndrome. He placed some blame on his former coach Bill Belichick for pressuring him to participate in full contact practice drills three days after suffering a concussion in an exhibition game. Johnson reported that during the drills, he suffered a second concussion, and he argues that Belichick asked him to participate against the advice of the team's head trainer. Stand up guy, This Belichick is.

All this information proves without a shadow of a doubt that Belichick and his Goons broke into this local Jewelery store and stole the SB Rings that he thinks rightfully belong to him. Plus, according to most of the articles associated with this heist, the FBI is apparently baffled and has no clue where to begin the investigation. Only a criminal Mastermind who was able to operate an illegal video spying operation right under the NFL's nose is able to so easily steal millions of dollars in jewelery without leaving behind any clues whatsoever. Plus, this is a small family owned Jewelry store, real burglars would have chosen a store like Sotheby's or Tiffany & Co. If they wanted to get their hands on some real expensive items. Only Darth Belichick would rob a family owned business, he is that evil. Do not deny that he feeds on the souls of the unborn.

In order to lighten the mood I will leave you with a link to South Park episode, that sheds more light on the matter.

http://stansdad.com/season12/episode5/

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